So I'm kicking back watching Soul Sunday on the Oprah channel and it occurs to me that I wanna be that pure breathing soul, but I got a job to find, student loans to pay off, acid reflex and I'm fighting off the winter blues. Ain't nobody got time for that enlightenment! What am I supposed to do, stop and smell the roses as I let the cat litter pile up in my basement?
I got people to see and places to be, and all kinds of problems. I was teaching at a local school and I had to call security to break up a fight in an eighth grade classroom, the security guard had a gun. Where in all of this mayhem am I supposed to notice the beauty of my soul? Or his soul, or their souls when all I see around me are guns and kids?
I go to my parent's house and they tell me a kid tried to kill his teacher again. I wonder if it's cause everyone in eighth grade has read or is reading The Hunger Games? I don't want to burn a book but I just don't understand why violence is our preferred form of entertainment. I want to blame someone, hit someone, and I don't have time to worry about being peaceful.
This is a war people. Whatever the nature of your particular war, we are fighting to survive here. I don't believe survival of the fittest is right but I think it's true.
Then there are like a million things, everyday things clogging up my life. I mean there are dishes piling up, laundry to do, and credit cards eating my money and I don't know how to stop. Like just stop. But the thing is I've got time to overeat and time to bitch and moan. Time to worry about my world. But why don't I make time to breathe? Really breathe and be like one with the universe?
Why? I want to know why I should do it. Why I should put on my calendar: Pay attention to your soul. I'll tell you why. Because it's gonna make this ride a hell of a lot easier. This ain't no Ferris wheel, this is the Demon Drop, life will drop you when you're not looking. In my experience this whole affair is much more tolerable when you find joy and love in it. This is not about blowing sunshine up your ass. On the contrary this is about getting your head out of your ass.
I'm spiritual because I want to get myself out of my own way.
Being one with the moment is about living a real life, one in which you are alive. There are a million reasons to be dead. To be miserable, let's share war wounds sometime, I got some real doozies. If anyone on this planet should be upset that life didn't work out the way she wanted, it would be me. But I get up every morning and I try. I try to be all I can be. Because this is the army. I have lost a lot of battles but the war is not over. I just need to sometimes stop fighting, sometimes think about what I'm fighting for. Look I know there are so many reasons we don't take time to be. But one day when we no longer are, we will understand that all that was required of us was to exist in presence. That nothing was required of us at all. That no one's judging. That we are free.