Perpetual Passion

What are you passionate about?  First of all are you passionate about your work?  I hope so.  Do you realize how much time we spend doing this work...if it doesn't mean the world to us...what's the point?  I mean survival is a point, but most of us have the luxury to survive under most circumstances.  I mean I think the chances are, if you are reading this, you went to college.  Unfortunately I only know privileged individuals.  If you have the means, I implore you that it's worth it to rethink your career if you are unhappy.

This advice is coming from a pauper...U may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope someday you'll join us...I dream that I will make at least some money writing books etc. and I dream that I will be content with a teacher's salary.  I dream of opening up a school one day that promotes creativity in all subjects.  What's you dream?

I'm gonna be a high school teacher and I'm planning on loving it.  I'm passionate about it in advance.  The reality of it may not be so dreamy, but I intend on changing lives or at least teaching kids how to express themselves.

I had one teacher in elementary school who inspired me to become a writer.  She was this charismatic black woman (I lived in Livonia, Michigan, voted the whitest city in America).  She would play music and make us write poetry.  I was like nine years old and was quoting Nietzsche.  I have yet to understand (or know how to spell) Nietzsche but she didn't underestimate my intelligence.

Are you underestimating your intelligence?  If you are doing something you hate, you are not valuing yourself.  I understand there are bills to pay and there is always tomorrow, but but I swear today is the only time you can count on.  I hate to be a Debby Downer but you could be dead tomorrow.  We ain't gettin' any younger.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

I had a dentist once who was so passionate about metal like retainers and wires that he was so excited when he found the right fit for my mouth, he almost jumped up for joy.  I'm not even kidding.  Then once I had a dentist who was such a people person that he cracked jokes and I was like looking forward to getting my teeth cleaned just so I could chat with him.

My point is that, even if you are passionate about one aspect of your work, whether it be the people or the technology....I think you are doing well.

Do you work too much?  OK, I'm not a slacker, but I don't believe in personally working like too much.  OK, I know, I know, if you are doctor you have to put in your time, and I think that's different.  But if you are like established in your career, I don't really get it.  Why are you doing it, what's it all for in the end?

Maybe you are a workaholic, so passionate about your work that you can't get enough.  It's an actual addiction you know, you don't let your mind think about all the things that are wrong in your life by occupying your mind with work all the time.  I mean seriously, seek help, and don't think it's any less serious than any other addiction.

Maybe you are addicted to the money, I think it's rarer than we think, but there are people who need to maintain a certain lifestyle in order to be "happy."  The passion for material things is transitory, I think that's obvious to me and most people, but if you happen to just love money...what can I say, you know what they say..."I don't know what they want from me, but the more money we come across the more problems we see..."

I happen to have some experiences being very close to people who are very rich.  In my assessment they are not more or less happy then the rest of us.  Their problems are slightly different because they are not always focused on survival in a basic sense, but they have to survive in a world that can be very cruel and jealous.  The people I know have not let the money get to their heads, but I have also met people who have been destroyed by money.  In my opinion they have sacrificed the quality of their personal relationships because of thier obsession with work and material things.

So what was my point again?  I'm losing track here.  I guess like I'm trying to say something very obvious, passion for money will probably not work out in the end.

Obviously I'm passionate about writing and I'm passionate about teaching, mostly because I like the sound of my own voice.  No, but really, I like the idea that I could mold a mind.  I will teach in college as well, I'm more nervous about that, college kids being more articulate than I am and all.  Even I am insecure about my passion. I mean I love books but often think I'm not well read enough.

Well, you know, it's OK to be always wanting to improve what you are passionate about.  I'll tell you something, living passionately, there is nothing like it.  When I don't write, I feel a little lifeless.  I recommend, by the way, that everyone try writing, even if it's just in a journal.  There is something about expressing yourself that can free your mind and really release your passions.

"Too much passion is never enough..."  Are you sick of my songs yet?  As an aside I'm very passionate about music, sometimes our passion for our pastimes can make up for when our work sucks.  (I don't by the way have any musical talent whatsoever even though I secretly think I can sing.  I played the trumpet in junior high and my parents told me to stop practicing after buying me a three-hundred dollar trumpet).  I have to get a minor in Poly Sci...that could be boring sometimes, although I'm very interested in current events.  I'll need my my chunky huge, archaic i Pod on the eighties play-list for that one,  "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill, of living is gone."

I'm still thrilled to write to you every day.  I hope the feeling is mutual.  I hope it never fades.

nina