Thursday, January 20, 2011

What makes Me Unique

So do you ever think about what makes you unique?  Trust me, you are not exactly like anyone else.  There are always things that set you apart.

Good things.

One of the things that sets me apart from at least half of the population is that I'm a woman.  Now what does that mean to me?  It means a lot.

It means I will fight for the right to have rights.  It means I have to be stronger, better, wiser, and work harder than a man in my field of work in order to be recognized the same as a man.  It means I will get paid less than a man even if I do more work.  It means I can be raped, attacked, hurt, or stalked.

However it also means I have this beautiful sensitivity to me.  I understand people I don't even know, I have the capacity to understand men, women, children, and even some household pets.  I love passionately and I love intensely.  I may get emotional and cry and scream when I shouldn't, but I will take care of those I love with a real honesty.

Another thing that sets me apart from the crowd is that I'm Indian.  Now I know that there are like more than a billion Indians in the world and it hardly makes me unique, but I still feel there is something to be said for being from a beautiful country that is often misunderstood.

I have inherited the spiritual nature of India, and I often try to wake up early in the morning and meditate, whatever that means.  I enjoy the idea of family that is instilled in most Indian households.  Family always comes first, and I cherish that notion.  I also love the idea that I have come from immigrants and have learned to work hard from the immigrant mentality.

Another bit of myself that is particular to me is that I'm an Asian American in the Arts.  I chose to be a writer as opposed to the usual track of becoming a doctor, engineer, or lawyer.  There is nothing wrong with following the usual track, if you do you are probably a lot better off financially, but I enjoy my work nonetheless.  I enjoy the fact that I had to rebel against my culture and my family in order to pursue my passion.  I hope it pays off.

There is also a part of me that makes me particularly vulnerable, yet I think it adds to my creativity and ability to create art.  I have a mental illness.  I'm Bipolar.  This has often led to very trying times when I was out of my mind completely and did unmentionable things.  It has also led me to fall into a deadening and very dark depression at times where I could see no way out.

However, my insanity also led me to have a particular mind set and think outside of the box, or rather, put the box aside.  It has also made me appreciate life when I feel 'normal' and can function 'normally' I see beauty in every little thing because I know that I may lose it at any moment.

Lastly, I'm a Sikh.  Sikhism is a very unique and modern religion that teaches personal salvation through meditation.  It is a religion filled with the most divine music and poetry ever written, it is truly a rich and  beautiful religion.  I am lucky to be a part of it.

So basically I'm a Minority Sikh Woman in the Arts who has a Mental Illness.  There are a lot of things working for me and a lot of things working against me here.  But I feel like I would rather be set apart from the crowd then just be 'normal.'  I don't think that anyone is really ordinary or boring because of their particular stance in life, however it is particularly interesting to be on the borderlines as I am.

Sometimes I have to fight just to live.

I think that's OK.

I will fight the good fight.  

What's your fight about?


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