Wish it were Sunday. That's my fun day.
Ummm...is it just me or is the Monday after the holidays hell? I'm not even starting school for like a week and I feel nervous 'cause I got to get going. I have to publish my book before school starts, I have like a few days, ha...ha....I have to schedule my classes, get my books on a Kindle, (Yahoo, the best part of starting school is getting a new device). I have to learn how to re-enter society after living in a void for a few years.
I have to do it all today, dude.
It's funny how days of the week are a man made creation that mean so much to us. I'm perpetually anxious on Mondays...Tuesdays I'm usually trying to get over Monday...Wednesday I'm upset that life is neither here no there...Thursday is like a tease, it's close to the weekend yet so far away...Friday is brilliant because you look forward to things more than you even enjoy them...Saturday is pure fun it's a mini holiday...and Sunday is very relaxing.
How'd I do?
Now if you work on the weekends, god forbid, these things get moved around but there is still this meaning behind a day that remains. It's like this trap...how about we just say it's Anyday and feel free? We need not feel obligated to feel a certain way on a certain day. But we are slaves to our man-made measures. There might not even be such a thing as time, but we've got a really expensive watch to make sure we don't miss out on the rotation of the earth.
What other stuff do we make up in order to stress ourselves out? The concept of the year. As one of my friends so eloqeuntly put it, "Why does observing the moment when our rock passes an arbitrary spot in it's orbit give us hope? Here's hoping for a better two thousand and eleventh revolution (AD)."
I turned a certain number of years this year and it's stressing me out. I feel old because I crossed some stupid line, and now I feel like I need to be different. But I know, in the back of my head that these numbers and lines are made up. I can feel any way I want. If I want to feel like a two year old and suck my goddamn thumb than let me be.
Let's go on to the issue of weight, I'm sorry that I harp on this issue, but anyways, the number on the scale shocks me every time I step on it. I haven't stepped on it in the new year because I'm happy right now and don't want to upset myself for no reason.
But I look in the mirror everyday and I'm not disgusted by my appearance, although I'm not like ecstatic about it, but I can deal with it. It's the number that throws me off, I've never been good at math. My father thinks that Calculus contains the meaning of life, but if you were to take the derivative of my age and weight you would end up with a very sad number. No, I don't know what that means or what I'm saying.
These equations by which we measure our lives don't equal us.
Must we measure? For once, let's not do the math.
I want to stop. I've never been a friend of numbers. I'm ageless and timeless, right? Deepak Chopra would be proud. I believe our souls are these things...eternal and all that...
When I was a kid I used to make up soap opera's out of the numbers in math instead of doing the mathematics, the number two was a good guy, the number five was a bit shady. Four was the good girl and six was the back stabbing bitch. (If you have any qualms about shutting off that television just remember that this was coming from the mind of a five year old who started watching soap operas).
I personally like stories instead of equations. But I also don't have a left brain, I barely know my left from my right.
Our soul has story. Never mind how long it is. I mean what is eternity anyways, a really long frickin' time right?
So let's stop all this man made mania. It's mind control. Be your own boss...take Monday off.