I think about being sexy, and how it would be nice if I could perpetually exist in a sexy zone where I exude pheromones that make men fall to their knees. I have probably spent thousands of dollars buying perfumes and hair products and make-up all in the hopes of being as sexy as I can be.
But now I've been told that even if I'm wearing the sexiest boots with the most sensuous black skirt, if my eyes water with tears, even tears of joy, I will negate all my sexy effort.
You probably worry about your clothes being sexy, your shoes, your hair, but what about your tears?
OK, you may have heard of this study they did recently that says that men are turned off by women's tears. The thing that women are asking is, who would first of all, fund such a study? And for what purpose? Secondly, are women trying to be sexy when they sob, are they even interested in sex when tears are flowing from their eyes?
Is it just me, or does it seem like everything in this world has to be sexy these days? We can't just leave crying to be an emotional event, it has to be graded on the sexy scale.
Remember that song by Right Said Fred that went something like, "I'm too sexy for my..." and you could put anything in there. I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my hat, too sexy it hurts. He was talking about models acting as if they were so sexy nothing could touch them, they acted as if they were too sexy for life itself.
Is that what we are supposed to be?
With the proliferation of Internet pornography, it is so easily accessible that almost every man divulges in it from time to time. I'm sure women do as well. The images in pornography suggest that the actors are "too sexy" for their own good as well. The women's boobs are too big, the men's packages are too large and everyone has a fake tan.
How are real human beings supposed to compare to this?
To top it off a lot of men I know watch Internet porn at least once a day. How is a real woman supposed to compete with a quick fix like porn that is infused with unreal bodies?
The truth is we men and women, are not always sexy. We do things on a regular basis that are not sexy at all.
Why are we expected to live by a standard that even our tears should be evaluated as sexy or not?
They say that men think about sex every like six seconds or something. I think this may be an urban myth as well, and men are not thinking about sex as often as we are told. I mean how would they get any work done? How would they have a conversation or concentrate on anything else in life?
Why don't they do a study about how men's obsession with sex makes women cry?
It is true that evolutionarily the people who have evolved are the ones that have procreated the most or the best, but we are more than an evolutionary explanation.
However if you paid attention to all the images we see on television, magazines and other media outlets, it's not like you could tell that we are anything but sexual beings.
Yet the real question is, with all this talk about sex, how much sex is the average person having? In the beginning of any relationship sex is probably pretty regular. But once you have been with someone over the course of some time, sex becomes less and less frequent. I think that the average person, whether married or not, is not having tons and tons of sex on a regular basis.
Why is life so much less sexy than we want it to be?
Probably because we are slaughtered with the idea that life is supposed to be sexy, and when our life or our partner doesn't live up to some bizarre ideal we start to feel less sexy.
After all, the real measure of whether someone is sexy is whether or not they feel sexy. It's hard to feel this way when you can't live up to the sexy standards of the universe. And I think that half of sexy is self-esteem.
When I'm crying, I don't want someone to necessarily get excited, I want love, companionship, all the other things that come with a relationship. Although I know for a fact that the study needs to be evaluated because many people have had sexual intercourse after a very emotional outbreak that included tears.
I happen to find a man crying to be very sexy. I think it's beautiful to see anyone release real feeling.
Another problem with this study is that it is going against the idea that we as human beings are allowed to experience and share our pain with each other. This is especially difficult for men to do, so I understand why tears might not turn them on, but at the same time, as a culture we need to help men get in touch with their tears. I'm sorry if that sounds corny.
So ask yourself this: Are you too sexy for your tears?