During the "How I Met Your Mother" finale I went to get ice cream and decided to watch it on On Demand later. I didn't want it to end, I mean a lot of people were upset about the ending. Why? I wasn't, I thought the man got true love, like twice. What is there to cry about?
So I'm sitting at the ice cream shop, (I know, I know I'm allegedly on a diet). It's the first days of spring, give me a break. So I'm sitting there with my partner in crime when all of a sudden this guy walks up to us with a bunch of balloons. He asks us if everything is OK, but doesn't mention the balloons.
It was a situation.
Like a sitcom situation.
I thought maybe someone brought me balloons, but why would they bring me balloons? Because they love me? Who loves me? No occasion in sight. No surprise party. Just life.
Isn't life odd? HIMYM always showed the oddities of life.
I like gestures like you know, big gestures. Like asking someone to marry them in front of the crowd. I'm such a ham. Like Ted on HIMYM, he wanted to get married in a castle. But then didn't. I would think like that.
I want to feel special. But I know I'm not that special.
I know, how about I go on a good first date before I think about someone asking me to marry them. I've been asked before and it was nice, not really asked but sort of asked. Maybe more like told...actually forget that.
I would have been a good character on that show.
God I'm tired, it just hit me...it's not like I want someone who is obsessed with show and tell, showbiz and all that. I want someone who is real. But a little song and dance never hurt a body.
Serenaded, I would love to be sung to. A man with a guitar is extremely sexy. I would love to sing to someone, like his wife does in HIMYM, but I can't sing to save my life. (I got a good story about that I'll tell you later...) Like Ted, I'm full of stories.
Romance is nice, I mean, what happened to that? I get guys on the Internet who are telling me about my taco...what the?
What happened to beauty and love and poetry? This one guy wrote me bad poetry once, that was a shit show. He was the nicest guy but his poetry sucked.
I'm kind of a bitch right? That's why I'm alone, right?
I need a reason at this point. I don't get it, I mean I get it, but I wish it were different. Is it my fault?
Is it your fault? I don't know I need someone to blame.
You know some guy once told me he'd kill himself if I left him. He didn't. But that's not really the point. Is that love or is it just psychosis? Or is love psychosis? Or am I so naïve and it was just some manipulative bullshit?
It was a little bit of all of the above I think.
I have been in love before, with the wrong people.
All of a sudden I feel alone. Not lonely, but alone. I'm alone.
I want to share my life, I like life, I do. I want to be in love with it, you know life but I'm not there yet. However I think at some point I could share this life with someone. I could fall in love again.
The love of a good man is hard to find. A good man is hard to find.
Sometimes I put on the T.V. because no one is around at night in my bedroom. Is that sad?
Then I see Ted and Barney and I laugh at the absurdity of it all.
I know I'm not alone in being alone.
I know sometimes you get lonely too. Even if you are in a relationship. Doesn't matter.
But when the "How I Met your Mother" finale is the most romantic thing going on in your life, it makes you wonder.
It's funny, the joke to me is how my dad met my mother. It was arranged. It's a one episode story. But he saw like 25 women, and it was her he wanted. He chose her. She chose him.
They didn't know each other, but they fell in love.
Is it fate or like did they have to fall in love on their own because they had no choice? Who cares, they did. They still, forty some years later, love each other unconditionally. I don't want an arranged marriage but I want what they have.
Me and my friend have this joke, "Friends, countrymen, pimps and hoes, lend me your ears!" We think it is hilarious. Why? It's an inside joke.
I want that with a significant other.
I don't need actual fireworks, or diamonds.
I want that.
All I want is for us to laugh while no one else knows why we are laughing. I want us to love while no one else knows why we are loving.
I want someone to tell a story about how they met me.