Wednesday, April 2, 2014

April Fools make May Tools!

Today I look on the calendar as I write this, and it's April Fool's Day and I want to play a practical joke on someone but I don't know how creative and adventurous I want to get.  I mean not to get too philosophical on your ass, but the real practical joke is the one we are playing on ourselves.

Let me not fool myself, expecting to write a column every day is asking a lot of myself.  Expecting you to read one every day is also asking a lot.  Like I mean, seriously, I have put undue pressure and stress on myself.  

The joke that I need to be crazily working all the time is on me.  I'm looking for jobs people, I'm trying to get a book published.  I got shit to do.  This writing of a blog is recreational sometimes I think, although it's not, it's important for my profession.  I want to write for publications that actually have a huge audience.

I'm sort of preparing this portfolio for the publishing community to look at.  But it's OK if I can't get one out every day, it's hard to spill your heart out every goddamn day.  And on top of it, I've got to think of something to say.  I'm deathly afraid I will run out of ideas.  

I need to not fear it.  It will be OK. 

The reason I love April fool's day is because I had this bus driver who was a riot in high school.  And she said that she called her friend once and told her she was in jail, and the friend went to fucking jail, and she was standing there laughing her ass off, "April fool's day!"  I kid you not she actually did this to her friend.

I respect humor, like practical jokes, I've never done any really but think it is funny.  I hear like George Clooney is really into them.  They make you laugh for a while, unlike a regular joke.  Clooney and Brad Pitt, hotties are into practical jokes.  

They can go too far, I heard a story about someone once sending someone a pile of shit in a candy box.  That was the end of that friendship.  I don't know I'm nervous, I tell people's stories online and one day somebody is gonna slap me.

A guy once asked me if I was gonna write about him in my blog.  Well I am now.  Don't be afraid to know me or tell me shit about your life, I'm trying not to exploit people, I really am.  I'm trying not to exploit myself.  It's hard.  

I'm annoyed that privacy issues are part of my job description.  I'm annoyed that I could hurt someone, especially myself.  I'm annoyed that there are exploiters out there.

I'm annoyed everyone is not sitting at the edge of their seats waiting for a new blog entry from me.  As I'm sitting at the edge of my seat waiting for inspiration.  I have to write books too.  

Every profession is hard work.  Work is worship in many ways. Work is kind of a bitch in many ways.  It's complicated.

Why is the writing thing a one way street, I tell all and you sit there and take it in and give me nothing of yourself?  It's a lie I'm fooling myself, the process of reading itself is so giving.  Thank you for giving me your time. 

Sometimes it annoys me how straight forward I can be.  I just told someone I don't know very well that I think he's hot, he's probably too young for me.  Then I told him April fools!  I'm embarrassed. I'm a fool.  

April fools.

This married man is also after me and I told me we need to just be friends and I'm flattered because I'm actually very attracted to him.  But I'm annoyed that I have morals.  Am I fool to try to be good?

I don't have anyone in my life, but I'm sure of certain things in my life, I'm sure about what is right.  About what is right for me.

I would be a fool if I got involved with a married man, even just for fun.  I fool like me would fall in love.  Maybe it's not just my moral stance on adultery its my common sense about adultery.  Somebody gonna get hurt.  

You watch Russell Peters ever?

I'm sure he would come up with some good pranks. 

Fools are funny people, fools are funny.  Maybe be you have to be a fool to be funny.

I'm too serious sometimes.  Sometimes you got to just be foolish.  

What am I talking about, I'm foolish all the time.  Only fools fall in love people, listen to me.  

Foolish heart...


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