Cyber Nut?

So this guy called me a Cyber Nut at the café this morning. I don’t know why I think that’s so hilarious. I was the one who rebelled against the Internet when it first came out. People would email me and I wouldn’t check it for months at a time in college.

Now because of the resume situation and because I’ve started writing a blog, I’m on the Internet a lot it seems. I mean where else are you supposed to look for a job? How did people look for a job before the Internet? It’s so weird, life before.

Life before. Remember when we used to buy CD’s instead of installing music into our iPod’s? I used to have a record player when I was a kid. I would listen to the same songs over and over again. Those were the days, huh?

Nowadays I have a like a gazillion songs on my iPod. And I listen to the this awesome Internet radio station called Pandora, where you put in your favorite singer or song and it plays other singers and songs just like it.

So am I a Cyber Nut? I don’t know, are you? Remember when you used to get up in the morning and read the paper, now you are reading a blog. I don’t even have any editors or rules.

So what if your computer privileges were taken away for a while? What would you do with that time? I’ve been noticing nature a lot lately, I mean like just staring at it. Maybe I would do more of that than staring at this screen.

It’s with this very machine that I can reach out to like a dozen people. Think about if I had to write this on paper and pass it out. How weird would that be?

What if you found my diary after I was dead, like Anne Frank’s? You’d like that wouldn’t you? To know what I’m really thinking with really no censors. My true thoughts and feelings. Or would it bore you to death?

I had a poetry professor tell me once to NEVER write in a diary, because everyone sounds crazy in their diaries. And after you die, dude, don’t pretend like it’s not gonna happen. But people are gonna look at that shit and read it and try to know the real you.

They plan on being SHOCKED by even your most mundane observations. So instead let it all hang out. So instead just say what you want to say to that person you keep writing about in your diary.

Journaling has been done for ages and people say it is very therapeutic. In the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron says you should write first thing in the morning, she calls these morning pages, and like vomit out all the stuff that’s in your head.

As much as I love that book I just can’t do it. It’s like I don’t trust the page to keep my secrets. Because the fact is, the page is not gonna keep your secrets for you.

As crazy as it sounds, I talk to my imaginary friend when I need to really talk about my deepest secrets. You call Him God. I have different names for Him, but it doesn’t matter. I know one thing; He knows my deepest darkest secrets and loves me anyways. Things I wouldn’t even tell my significant other.

I don’t know if God reads my blog, I mean c’mon He’s a pretty busy guy. But when I talk to him, it’s like I’m emailing a celebrity or something. It’s like He’s in Cyberspace, just hangin’ out, waiting for me to write. Instead I talk, in my head of course, not out loud. I’m not that crazy, yet.

Remember when we used to write letters to Santa? That was before this crazy Internet thing started. I wonder if Santa has an email address now.

There were Santa’s and Bugs Bunny’s and all sorts of stuff in the Life Before. Today is one day before the terrorist attacks eight years ago. Life goes on, but life before was different.

Remember when you were only scared of ghosts and the boogeyman? Now these new nuts are in cyberspace with us. Terrorists are probably Cyber Nuts just like me.

I hope that’s all I have in common with them.

nina