There’s something really sacred about Sunday Mornings. First of all you don’t want to get out of bed. Second of all, if you are anything like me, you want to eat brunch because by the time you get up breakfast doesn’t make sense.
So did I ever tell you about the time I tried to sell knives door to door? These were expensive knives, in the nineties they were six-hundred dollars for the whole set. But I was sold; these were the best knives in the UNIVERSE. They had like marble handles, to this day the few that I have left can cut through anything. But I couldn’t sell them.
And these dudes were making like thousands of dollars a week or month or whatever, and I didn’t understand how they did it. I went to one of the knife sellers conventions; it was like a cult of positivity. It was the scariest thing I EVER encountered. People with the highest selling record would stand up and everyone would applaud, I can’t explain the FREAKINESS of these people.
My boss was like the happiest person alive. When I told him I was quitting, I almost cried and said I felt like I was disappointing him. Who the Hell was He? But I’m telling you it was like this cultish mentality.
So have you ever experienced Imposter’s Syndrome? Apparently it’s when you…alright a hot man just walked into the café. I couldn’t see his finger, you know if he had a ring on it. What I do? I smiled at him but he was on the phone. I have my headphones on so I can’t hear what he’s talking about, like if he’s talking to his girlfriend.
I’m trying to look busy and important, as I turn around casually to stare at him. I think he just came from jogging. I think I don’t know how to get picked up or…he left. Well he’s gone. I see him driving away in what looks like a single guy’s vehicle; I don’t know you could fit a few kids back there. It’s one of those like Cadillac SUV’s.
Anyways, I’m cold and it’s still summer and my sister says I could have something wrong with my blood because I’m cold all the time all of a sudden. She’s a nurse.
Anyways, I have a cousin who’s a doctor and experienced what she called Imposter’s Syndrome when she first started working. She said she couldn’t BELIEVE that she was the DOCTOR and you know not like the patient or whatever.
You know the thing about Michigan is, people smile at each other, you know like on the street and in the café. It’s rather nice. it’s different in bigger cities. People are not as NICE as they are in the Midwest.
Don’t get me wrong…I hate this place…but I’m trying to be like Positive Girl here. You have to be, you know. You know that song by Kenny Roger’s, The Gambler? My favorite line is, “Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser…”
I have to work out I’m only doing it every other day. It’s just sooo hard. Ok it’s not that hard, I exaggerate, it’s kind of fun. I should do it every day…have you seen the BIGGEST LOSER? Those people are on like crack or something. They work out for like hours and hours every day. They drop like hundreds of pounds in like months. It’s got to be unhealthy.
And to all you joggers: Hat’s off to you. I have some serious RESPECT for people who can jog outside. I get winded by talking a walk…I’m so out of shape…I mean I like to walk I’m not saying I don’t. I take walks all the time, but Runs? Wow. I am just not there yet. And marathons, that’s some cool shit.
I’ve never thought of myself as an athlete. I can’t even spell the word, which is not coincidental. I’m just not there yet, you know. But it’s true that endorphins are released when you work out. I feel happier.
Anyways…have a good Sunday. If you go to church or the Temple or Gurudwara, tell God I said Hello. Give Him my regards…