“Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
― Max Ehrmann,
I have this poem or whatever it is, framed in my bedroom. I try to read it as often as I can. My therapist gave it to me years ago. I don't think she realizes what an impact it had on me.
I especially like the part where it says be gentle with yourself. How many of us are nice to ourselves? If I was my best friend would I treat myself the same way I do? Why are my best friends more forgiving of my mistakes then I am?
People often say, 'be yourself.' What does that mean if we are not sure who we are? I mean I know I'm nina, and I know lots of things about me. However who am I really?
I like that he says I'm a child of the universe. I like the idea that I'm still a child at almost forty. Sometimes I laugh like a kid, sometimes I cry like a baby.
It really is still a beautiful world, isn't it? It's hard to always see that...to be that...to know that. I can see out my window right now and everything is pretty outside. It's not as pretty in the winter, but even winter has it's own beauty. Even the hard times have their purpose and eventual lessons.
I want to have peace with my soul, I'm tired of fighting it. Many times I do things that are not good for my soul, and in that sense I'm fighting who I really am.
Fighting with god is another thing. I'm not exactly agreeing with all the things that he is sort of allowing to happen. But I don't understand most of it, I don't know why. I can't see the bigger universal picture. It seems we are destroying ourselves, yet is this really god's fault?
I need to close my eyes and strive to be happy. It is sort of that easy, isn't it? But so damn difficult, isn't it? There are moments I feel happy. There are moments I'm trying to be happy. Some moments I have no idea how I feel.
Mostly I feel like things will be OK. I feel like everything is OK.
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