So I've been thinking about how quick life changes, we are all a few paychecks away from being homeless. We are one bomb away from being in a war. We have no idea how close we are to an earthquake or tornado.
Anything can happen.
I say this because I'm going through a positive cycle, yet I don't want to be attached to the things that make me happy. I want to be happy, so happy that even if I didn't have those things I would be fine. Because I could lose everything in one moment, and I have before, and I know that it can happen to anyone and any time.
I stayed in a hostel once in New York and met an Indian woman who was homeless, she was a highly educated investment banker who lost everything after 911. That scared me.
She was actually really wealthy at one point, and she had pictures to prove it. However she lost everything in an instant.
I was in New York on 911. I didn't lose a damn thing, no friend or relative of mine was in the twin towers. I was five miles away. However I felt it, felt the feeling of loss, even if it wasn't personal, it was in the air.
Someone was trying to take something away from me, my idea of peace. I didn't give it to them though, the terrorists. If you let terrorists take away your peace of mind, they win. No way was I gonna let them win.
I had a friend who was Muslim and the police suspected he was a terrorist because of his last name. They interrogated him with no cause. They almost ruined his life.
The police were racially profiling everyone during that time, I was "randomly" selected at the airport in New York every time. Many of us are one wrong move away from being incarcerated.
We are all so close to the edge of life, to the end of existence as we know it that we could lose our sense of self at any moment if we don't build ourselves inside.
The only thing we have is our peace of mind, or sanity, our self love. They can take everything away from you, but they can't take that away unless you give it to them.
I always thought that if I was wrongfully convicted of a crime and ended up in jail, they couldn't take away my ability to write, my ability to think. They couldn't take away my ability to meditate. Because I don't need anything material to do these things.
Many of us are incarcerated in jails of our own making. I've been there. All I can say is, you hold the key.
I want certain things to change in my life, for the better of course. But I know there is always the risk that they may change for the worse.
Things may change, but will I? Will I change for the better, or for the worse? I think it's up to me.
Image curtesy of Danilo Rizzuti at FreeDigitalPhotos.net