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Monday, July 20, 2015

Life is Simple

“This is your life. Do what you want and do it often. 
If you don't like something, change it. 
If you don't like your job, quit.
If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV.
If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love.
Stop over-analyzing, life is simple.
All emotions are beautiful.
When you eat, appreciate every last bite.
Life is simple.
Open your heart, mind and arms to new things and people, we are united in our differences.
Ask the next person you see what their passion is and share your inspiring dream with them.
Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself.
Some opportunities only come once, seize them.
Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating.
Life is short, live your dream and wear your passion.” 
― Holstee ManifestoThe Wedding Day

I suspect and I've heard that life is simple. People on the other hand are complicated, or are they? Maybe everything is really simple.

Maybe I need to stop waiting for my real life to start. I think this might be it. I've had almost forty years of it and it's been real I suppose. I mean I know I've been alive for forty years but how much of that time was I paying attention?

I don't know, I'm not paying attention...

I'm not kidding I just spaced out. I just saw this thing on Oprah about how multitasking is like anti-spiritual, bad for the brain and the soul. I can barely do one task at a time. But I've seen people juggle so many things at once with brilliance, and some people have to. It may be a luxury to not have to multitask.

I mean the news is on, I'm at my friends house, she's making eggplant parmesan, I'm sitting on my computer. Is that too many things at once? How many and what is too many?

When exactly did we become these machines that have to be stimulated by several things all at once in order to be awake? I can smell the food, hear the T.V. and see this screen.

Sometimes I want to shut the noise off, shut off the T.V., let the battery die on my phone, unhook my computer and talk to someone. I mean really talk to someone. 

I put my ringer on silent today and my friend ended up calling me twice then calling our landline. It's like there is no escaping it. I was having a serious conversation with my mom and my phone kept beeping so I put it on silent. 

Remember when people couldn't get a hold of you for weeks or months at a time? Remember when you had a life that didn't revolve around the very gadgets with which you are reading this with?

Remember pens, pencils, paper and handwritten notes passed during class? Remember holding the newspaper in your hands and feeling the crumbly crap it was made out of? Was that even paper?

Did we live more when we had only five channels and no remote? I don't know, I'm not sure.  (By the way where's the remote?) 

Something is wrong though, I think we are not living the way that would be the best for our spirits. What is a spirit you ask?

That's another conversation, but there is a part of me that is not agreeing with the pace at which life moves these days. I don't mean to sound like a bitter old woman, but maybe that is exactly what I am.

I'm bitter that my friend is not talking to me right now, she is reading, funny enough, a magazine in paper form. CNN is on T.V., I'm writing on a Mac. We are content not speaking much unless we have a comment to make about something. She handed me a Bed Bath and Beyond coupon. I said thank you.

When did life become so banal? 

I tried to start a conversation just now, asking her what she is reading. She told me and then we stopped talking.

I want to shut off the T.V., rip away her paper, and make her speak to me. But what would I say? Am I more interesting than a girl whose seizers were cured by medical marijuana? 

I'm not an entertainment factory or anything like that, but I've been known to tell a joke or two. Sometimes I even have an insight to share. 

I'm so confused as to what CNN is talking about, something about China. My friend is taking out the trash. 

Why is everything so confusing when it's supposed to be so simple?

What do I want out of this moment? I don't want to be annoyed. Did you know that Gloria Vanderbilt is Anderson Cooper's mother. My friend said so, and I sounded amused.

I'm not. 

Now she's got her Android tablet out, so I know not to disturb her. There is a story about Euthanasia on CNN. I don't want to have some crazy debate about the right to end your life.

I want my life to start.

But it has hasn't it? When I was busy preparing: shaving my legs, putting on deodorant. How do live when all we have is this life?

We go on, through the boring moments, through the lonely moments. The moments we are with someone and they make us feel more lonely than when we were alone. 

There are beautiful moments, trust me, I know. Yet somehow sometimes they are more difficult to remember.

I do love life. I don't always love my life, but every moment cannot be a winning one. 

We are simple, we want love. Yet we are so complicated in the ways in which we seek it. 

Life is so short, yet so long in some moments.

Life is beautiful and ugly and weird.

Mostly it's weird.

Mostly I don't get it.

But I will, one day.

nina

Image courtesy of nattavut at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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