Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Pursuit of Unhappiness

I've become more liberal as I get older.  I think that the more 'spiritual' I get the less 'religious' I get.  And the more I think about things, things like marriage, I start to think that they are constructions of society, they are not necessarily 'natural.'

I mean, that doesn't mean that I don't want to get married.  It's just that I think that I know so many people who are married, and many of them are quite happy, but sometimes it feels like, when I look at the divorce rate and the couples that are unhappy, that the way we construct marriage as it is, is not always the greatest thing.

Then I look at gays who want the right to get married.  Just like I don't know if I believe that religion is the greatest thing, everyone has the right to practice their religion.  Just like that, everyone should of course have the right to get married.

I guess I haven't really addressed the gay marriage issue yet because, well honestly, I don't understand why it's an issue at all.  New York made a monumental decision the other day to allow gay marriage.  But really was it that monumental, or was it more like something that was long overdue?

I've been thinking and thinking about this issue and I want to say something unique, not just the obvious, that everyone should be treated equally and given equal rights etc.  But what else is there really to say?

If it is your religion that is telling you that gay marriage is wrong, than don't become gay and get married.  That might sound stupid and simple and sideways...but if you disagree with this new legislature I don't know how to talk to you.

And I want to talk to you.  I have friends and relatives who think like you, who don't like the idea of the existence of homosexuals.  I love these people, and I hate these particular views that they have.

But I think we should still have this conversation.  Don't tune me out.

All I'm saying is that this does not affect you if you are not gay.  Let them get married, they should have the right to be as miserable as the rest of us, right?

I'm serious when I say that people should have the right to be unhappy.  When Thomas Jefferson said that everyone has the right to the Pursuit of Happiness, perhaps he should have added the Pursuit of Unhappiness.

I personally don't think being gay is a choice that one makes and that a person wakes up one morning thinking that the choice is going to make them happy.  I think it is a thing that just is, whether it be biological or whatever, and people accept it within themselves even if it will make them unhappy.

When homosexuals come out of the closet, it's not always happy.  But who are we to judge what's happy, what's good and what's not.  Inside, when someone comes out of the closet, they may feel true happiness for the first time in their entire lives.

Maybe I'm going around in circles a bit here.  What I want to say is, if you think that someone is going to go to hell for their actions, let them go to hell.  They have the right to go to hell.

But if you are like me and don't really believe in hell, then you probably don't believe in condemning people.

My mother, the other day, said that she didn't think that gay marriage is natural.  She's a doctor, nothing she does to prolong people's lives is 'natural.'  What is 'natural,' barbaric behavior?  Nothing we do anymore is natural.  I'm typing my thoughts onto a machine, this is completely unnatural.

But it feels like the right thing.  I think if you were to ask a homosexual person how they first knew they were gay, they might tell you that it just felt right.

It definately doesn't feel right to discriminate against someone who is just listening to their heart.



  1. Well said --- what we need are more open minds. As I gay guy who got married, it meant the world to me, and it didnt really impact anyone else. What is wrong with wanting to make our family?

  2. I made a comment but blogspot must have wigged out and not posted it. Must have been god. Or not. Depending. Let the gays be free tho. Religious haters will be the minority.