TGIF

Thank God It’s Friday (I don’t know if this is a copy-written term by the restaurant but they don’t have a good diet selection).

JUNKMAIL and BACK TO THE FUTURE (Lovely Old School Film…Micheal J Fox is now very ill…remember when he could move on that skateboard? Those were the days).

“These are the Days to Remember,” I think that was my class song in high school. Don’t know why I can’t remember for sure. I’m worried about my brain.

Let’s talk about Internet Junk Mail for a second. My name is nina, why do they ask me if I want to enlarge my manhood on a regular basis? This psychic woman’s after my ass after I mistakenly checked out my future for a hot second on her site. Every day she’s got a new vision for me. Have you ever been to a psychic? I have been to a few. I even called one once.

Let’s see the first time was when I was like eighteen. I went with a good friend. It was her idea, okay? The psychic told me I wouldn’t go to law school but failed to mention that I would ‘pretend’ to take the LSAT for the sake of my parents after college. (I wanted to be a lawyer way back in freshman year). Then my Pops wanted me to become a lawyer…"What is this writing stuff? I did not pay for an English Degree for you to turn out like this.” “Oh Daddy Daddy if you could only see,” just how much that hurts me. (Pappa don’t Preach)-Madonna.

The psychic told me I’d become some kind of healer around the world. He said I’d struggle with my weight my whole life. Phony Bastard cost me fifteen bucks.

A Healer, huh? I have yet to heal my own wounds.

Oh and another thing that keeps showing up in my junk mail folder is ads for Viagra. What would happen if I took a Viagra? Where would it go? Hmmm... Then there’s Potty Patch, The indoor doggie restroom. Need I say more?

SNAIL MAIL:
The Government keeps sending me these notices, apparently when you borrow money from them you must return it. Then there's this weird concept called INTEREST!!!!!!!!!!!
I skipped that day in math but simple or complex interest doesn't seem fair, I mean the government is acting like a loan shark at this point, don't you think?

See I took out the MAXIMUM amount that a human being is allowed to take out for five years for a Master’s Degree. It took me that long to write my award winning novel and finish my thesis for my MFA (Masters in Fine Arts) degree from Columbia University, my novel was my thesis. I’m not sad. No, no, people, I’m mad. (For those of you who thought I had a PhD it's because I lied to my parents and told them that I was getting one. I'm sick...I know). My betrayals are all cleared up now.

Who am I mad at? Do I even have the right? "They" didn’t tell us it would be this hard, they didn’t warn us. Our professors just said, “Keep writing.” Were they right? The commercial aspect of the writing was ignored, because the Editors, Agents and Publishers can ruin you. I wouldn’t know, but I’ve heard.

Car Mail?
Anyways… there was junk mail on my car. One was a parking ticket that I forgot to pay that day so will go to daddy’s car company I think…I don’t know if I can still pay it without him finding out. I’m like fifteen, I know. I’m trying to become fiscally responsible but I have a LONG way to go.

Oh and there was a note on my car the other day as well. A pink slip that said: YOU PARK LIKE AN ASS

FRIDAYS REPORT CARD:

HEALTH:
I lost weight! If you want numbers, well, a lady never tells. I worked out four days….not good enough…need to work out six days. I ate OK, not great. Not enough fruits and veggies. I have to start cooking again. I’m not like Julia Child or anything but I can boil water. I mean I can cook.

WEALTH:
Made one good job contact after hounding all contacts. Can send more resumes out. Shamelessly promoting my blog to anyone I talk to, trying to find readers on the web from other blogs etc.

FYI: If I contacted you after many years it was not my intention to USE you as a reader, but I’m learning how to socially network. I’m not very good at it. Apparently it helps with employment as well. That does not mean I don’t like you or don’t care about you, whoever you are…I just need to learn how to do this web thing. I refuse to do Face Book…we’ll talk about that LATER.

WISDOM:
Realized I’m OK, you’re OK, never read the book but realized it. Learned how to turn a potential guy I could have dated into a friend, we’re better off as friends. I’m not like on the prowl or anything, but you know, I am. Realized how important music is in my life (coincidentally music is a vital aspect of my religion, Sikhism). I find that music dictates the trends of my thoughts. Song of the week: “Oh baby, baby it’s wild world, hard to get by, just upon a smile girl.” Cat Stevens is a beautiful man.

MAIL BOX:
First of all if you are reading this, Thank you. It means a lot to me. I’ve gotten great responses from friends, family and even a few strangers . Thank you. One response was that a man stopped blogging because it revealed his vulnerabilities and insecurities and self doubt for the whole world to see. I don’t know how to respond to that and I can respond to just about anything. So I will consult my two Bibles of writing…Writing Down the Bones and The Artist’s Way. I’ll get back to you on this one.

DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by my use of profanity, well a wise man once told me that “Profanity is the language of the heart.” If you are offended by my spirituality and use of the notion of “God,” all I can say is I hope He’s not offended. Karma’s a bitch…