Random Thoughts on Monday...

                                                    

Do you trust happiness?

If you ask me I don’t.  It goes away without asking or telling or any warning. 

I had some good laughs this weekend, however it is Monday.  Fun is over.  I’d like to say that I’m all comedy.  But there is also some serious tragedy in this here heart of mine. 

Monday is so manic I don’t even know if you have time to read this.  But apparently you have time to read this…thank you… Monday means you have to put your thinking cap back on.  I think I lost mine.   

Things are not always as they appear.  As much as I want to laugh with you, and let you laugh even at me, in the same manner I think it is important to make you think and even sometimes cry.  We are multidimensional beings. 

Let me ask you something, who are you when you are laughing?  Do you think maybe you are almost like a different person than that person who is stressed or angry or sad?

There are things that we don’t know, about ourselves even.  Who we are in different moments.  Are we the same person from moment to moment?

I don’t know the answers per say to these questions.  I know I was nina five minutes ago and I’m nina now.  But I’m a little different than I was five minutes ago.  You see in these particular five minutes I changed.  Yes, I’m sort of messing with you and sort of not.  We change.  The only thing that is steady about us is that we change. 

You know those moments, the moments in which we change add up to years and infinities.  Did you know that some infinites are bigger than others?  That was in the movie “Fault in our Stars” and I do think it’s an actual factoid. 

What that means is we don’t understand anything.  And that is OK; I don’t particularly care on most days.  Most days I’m OK not understanding how the universe works.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.  How many jingles from commercials and theme songs to television shows do you remember?  Here’s a story, of a lovely lady….

Come on we don’t remember religious hymns, our times tables or even the national anthem, but we know:  Come and knock on our door… and doesn’t it bring a flood of memories?  I remember the shit out of Jack Tripper.  What a hoot!

I mean I can’t really watch Three’s Company now because the humor was that of a different time, but I laughed my ass off watching that show when I was young.  Our whole family would watch it together, my parents thought we didn’t understand the sexual innuendoes, and maybe we didn’t.  But maybe we did a little.  Those were the days when little things could make you laugh.  I mean Chrissie could bump into Jack the wrong way and it was a laugh a minute.

I just realized what is wrong with society today:  the inability to laugh at nothing.  Nothing was truly witty on that show, but it was hilarious.  Nothing remarkable has to happen for you to realize that there is sort of this huge cosmic joke.  I think god is kind of a joker, I think he thinks some of what we do is just flat out comical.  Because it is.  I think he is creating a comedy/drama.  Half of all of this has to be a joke.  I mean come on, let’s look at things really closely. 

First of all I say “he” on purpose because I think god is probably a man, considering the state of the world.  I may have said that before but I think it is worth repeating.  This is the thing, either we are playing a joke on him or he is playing one on us.  He gave us free will and this is what we came up with?  C’mon are we serious?  War and famine and murder and rape.  We, out of our imaginations thought of this crap?  No.  We are so kidding.  That is a joke.  We are playing a joke on god, we are like give us free will and we will fuck with you. 

But it’s like one of those jokes that isn’t funny.  A bad joke if you will.

Speaking of jokes, let’s not get too deep here.

 You know what we are missing these days?  We are missing theme songs that truly signify nothing.  Seinfeld was allegedly a show about nothing.  The only thing missing was a theme song on that show. 

I mean Seinfeld could wait at a Chinese restaurant for four hours with four of his buddies and he would call it a show.  I suppose that was a different style of comedy than the slapstick Three’s Company days.  They are both valid ways to make you laugh.  Nothing was gained or lost on those shows.  They didn’t have “lessons” in them. 

I would prefer if my life were a comedy as opposed to a tragedy.  Again it is probably a dramedy.  I want a theme song to my life.  I’m in the process of picking one.  I’m thinking Sarah Mclachlan or Stevie Nicks.  I’ve been afraid of changes but I built my life around you…time makes bolder, children get older, I’m getting older too…

Stevie wins.  What’s your favorite show?  For me at the moment its Orange is the New Black.  Talk about some female drama, wow. 

It’s real, that’s the thing about it.  It’s even funny sometimes.  It is amazingly written and acted.  Why am I going on and on about a show?

Because maybe I really am on a reality show.  Maybe god, or the gods are watching.  Maybe this is their form of entertainment.  When they get bored they turn on nina.  If nina gets boring they go to Joe.  Maybe the hours and hours of footage gets cut into an hour-long show.  Maybe our best moments are highlighted.  You might think I’m kidding but I’m not.    

What would you do differently if you were on a reality T.V. show?

Think about that, how would you conduct your life differently?  I would close the door when I go to the bathroom even if no one was home.  That’s what I know.

But you, what would you do?  Would you dance more?  Maybe sing a little less if you are anything like me.  Would you be more polite?  Or would you stop being polite?  Would you say what is on your mind? Or would you just shut up?  Would you still be you?  Or would you turn into this persona that was always being ‘watched’?  Could you be you?  Are you even you now?

Would you want them to see you ugly?  They way you are when no one is looking.  The terrible things you say about other people. 

Would you answer the door, when someone knocks.

Maybe someone is knocking.

Come and knock on our door…we’ve been waiting for you…

I want to write for a T.V. show, to upgrade television to the level I think it should be.  I’m not sure what I would want it to be about; it would have to be a dramedy. Most importantly it would have to be funny and serious, both at the same time. 

Just as an aside, T.V. makes me think about food.  So I was hangry until I ate my face off.  I ate some sushi and some frozen yogurt.  Sushi is great but it’s not a good date food I think.  It’s like you stuff your face with this huge thingy and chew on it like a bastard.  It’s a mess.

Frozen yogurt on the other hand, well let’s just say I had some yogurt with my toppings.  I won’t go to the store and buy candy bars anymore (I usually steal them) but I will put like crushed up candy bars all over my frozen yogurt until it’s more like a huge candy.  It’s chocolate heaven. 

I saw this movie once on T.V. with Meryl Streep.  I don’t remember the name and don’t feel like googling it, but anyways she was in purgatory.  Apparently you could eat all you wanted in this place and not gain a pound. 

I mean I’m pretty sure in Paradise or whatever; there is a ton of food.  And a ton of chocolate.  See I secretly believe we want to get there so we can eat our faces off. 

And the thing is, back to television, when you do turn on the tube there are all these commercials.  It’s so out of control.  Especially the ones about food.  They blatantly try to sell you food that will make you fat.  Then they proceed to show you footage of women so thin they need to eat the food in the commercials or they will soon wither away.  But instead of them, I’m eating it.

In fact T.V. might be the reason I’m overweight.  I say that because every time I want to binge it’s like night and some late night comedy show is always on.  Laughing and eating happens to be my favorite thing in life to do.

T.V. used to make me laugh like anything.  I remember the day we got cable, I was twelve and I watched stand-up comedy for two days straight all day long.  I was amazed at these people who could write something and say something that could really make you laugh.  I knew even then that humor takes intelligence. 

I had left Livonia at that point and I remember when a bunch of my friends sent me some letters from there.  I was so moved.  But I was such a weird perfectionist even then when it came to my own writing.  I would write my friends letters.  I would edit them; I would rewrite them and then never send the letters.  Isn’t that strange?

I was big on writing letters before the Internet was big.  If you were a guy I liked and you didn’t live in this area, I wrote you a letter.  Plain and simple.  And I worked on those letters like they were works of art. 

What is art?  Is television really art?  I think it can be when done right.  It’s usually done wrong.  But what do I know, I only know about writing, when I see that a show is written well I am impressed.  The Wonder Years, now that was a show.  It was written so well.  I would love to someday write about my wonder years in the eighties and nineties.  That would be interesting I think.

My first love was in Kindergarten.  I even remember his name; I don’t want to put it out here because he actually exists.  Anyways, he kissed every girl in the class except for me.  He said he couldn’t do it.  I don’t know if I wasn’t cool enough or if it was because I was the only minority, the one Indian girl in my class.  I would have thought that Kindergarten was too early to have discrimination in your brain.  I don’t know.  Maybe it was because I was a weird kid who didn’t fit into Kindergarten.  I was kind of a loner in those days.  I was a little sad too and quiet. 

But I did things like I think I invented the cell phone.  I wanted to watch T.V. on a little device during naptime in kindergarten because I could never sleep.  I wanted to watch Scooby Doo on a little hand held T.V.  I invented the whole idea of a cell phone when I was five.  And I thought I was not technologically aware. 

Well it’s a good thing for me I found my voice.  I hope since Kindergarten you have found yours.  

nina

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